14 Things to Avoid During a Divorce
Any good divorce lawyer would tell you that getting back at your ex during a separation is not a good idea as it can come back to hurt you.
According to the results of a survey by law firm Devry Smith Frank LLP, 74.3 percent of responded believed that they could divorce amicably. However, in reality, only about three out of 10 divorces manage to keep things clean.
Julie Tyas, a family lawyer highlights that people go to great lengths to hurt their spouse… from stealing money to turning their children against them before the case is even in court. But she says that these tactics to punish your spouse could end up ultimately costing you money, your home and in some cases, the custody of your children.
Dirty divorce deaths and disrespect for your spouse could thus have dire consequences. Tyas points out 14 things that couples should avoid before divorce:
- Stealing your Ex’s Money: Often, one partner would go through the couple’s joint account and transfer money into their own personal accounts. While easy to do, this action is also as easily caught. The spouse could always obtain a court order to return the money and could even request the court to freeze your bank account so that you don’t do it again.
- Using the Kids: Turning the kids against the other spouse is another commonly used tactic. Manipulating your children and trying to convince them to choose you in a sole custody suit is something the court can detect quite easily. And if the court finds out that such a tactic is in place, there is a great possibility that you will not only lose the custody battle but that you may end up getting limited access rights to your children.
- Going to your Ex’s Employer: Often, one partner will go their spouse’s employing and bad-mouth him or her. This could really backfire on you especially if your spouse is the breadwinner. If you damage his credibility at his place of work, you are the one who will damage your chances of adequate child support and spousal support.
- Starving out your partner: This happens when one spouse refuses to pay for household bills until they are absolutely forced to do so. This tactic again can backfire in court, especially if the spouse doing this makes more money that his/her partner.
- Hiding Property: If one spouse has a property in the name of a family member, either purchased during marriage or before marriage, and transfer their own name to the home after separation, this could also easily come out and could damage the settlement.
- Going Crazy with the Credit Card: After separation, if you use your spouse’s credit card, it might seem fun at the time but you will eventually have to deal with post-separation credits – which means you will have to compensate your spouse for all the money you spent and the debt you incurred after separation.
- Throwing False Accusations: This is one of the nastiest tricks people use and that is of making up allegations of domestic abuse. If proven otherwise, you could end up losing access to your children altogether.
- Ranting on the Social Media: It might seem fun to bad-mouth your spouse on Facebook but such status updates and comments can land up on a judge’s desk and can result in adverse order that could affect your rights to your children.
- Legal Entanglements: This occurs when one party refuses to get their own lawyer. This increases the legal fees of the other spouse but this could also backfire and a judge could order you to reimburse your partner.
- Fighting at Home: This occurs when one partner annoys the others while still living in one place. If such behavior goes out of control, the other spouse can obtain a court order for exclusive possession of the home.
- Lying: Never lie during divorce proceedings because if you get caught, the court will not believe anything you have to say.
- Changing Locks: If one partner changes the locks of the matrimonial home, they need to know that this is an illegal act. If you cannot live with your spouse for any reason, its better to find a temporary place to stay or contact the police instead of resorting to such measures.
- Not Communicating: If you don’t communicate with your spouse, you will both end up paying with ridiculously high legal costs and a loss of time.
- Ignoring Court Orders: This happens when one spouse refuses to pay their legal fees, does not get along with the other spouse’s lawyer and is not respectful of court orders. All these could come back to bite you eventually.