7 Steps to Supporting Your Child During a Divorce
Every day a couple divorces in the United States, leaving 1.5 million children to grow up in split families. While parents deal with the process of dividing assets and ending their marriage, children are often left wondering where to pick up the pieces. If you are going through a divorce, here are seven ways to support your child during this sensitive time.
1. Let them know they are loved. A divorce is hard on all of the family members involved; as a parent, you need to make sure your child knows it is not their fault. The last thing you want is for your child to place blame in this situation – remind them they are loved unconditionally during this difficult time.
2. Allow your child to have an outlet. Whether it is something as simple as making sure your child stays involved in sports, or asking if they wish to confide in a family therapist— making sure your child has a proper way of releasing disappointment during this time is crucial.
3. Keep a united front in front of the children whenever possible. The more comfortable and consistent that you and your spouse appear to be in front your children, the easier it will be for them to cope with what is happening. Co-parenting is a challenge, especially after an acrimonious split. Your new relationship with your ex as co-parents should focus on the well-being of your child, not on your past.
4. Don’t argue in front of your children — ever. As hard as it may be for couples going through divorce, avoid arguments in front your child. During confrontation it can sometimes force children to feel as though they need to pick sides so try to be respectful of your spouse and keep
5. Don’t make your child the middle person. Avoid venting to your child or using your children as a go-between or having them relay messages to your spouse through your children. This could result in miscommunications between all family members and end in disaster later on.
6. Be honest about the divorce, but don’t involve your children in every detail. It’s important to remember that your child is just that— a child. Shield them as much as you can from the painful details and avoid using your child as a therapist or confidente, keep the negative feelings to yourself.
7. Make sure your child spends adequate time with both parents. Your child should know they will not be deprived of quality time with either parent or used as a pawn during the divorce. This will help your child feel secure and will encourage them to develop healthy problem solving skills.
About Provda Law Firm, the New York Divorce FirmProvda Law Firm is a top-notch firm based out of New York City, providing expertise in divorce, property division, child custody and more. With over 30 years of experience, Bruce Provda has developed a keen intellect in New York family law. The attorneys at Provda Law Firm are seasoned in both mediation and collaborative divorces as well as those less amicable and courtroom-bound. To find out how Provda can assist you today, please visit www.nydivorcefirm.com