Divorce Do’s and Don’ts for Parents

Parents arguing during divorce while child is sad

Divorce is hard on everyone, but it is especially difficult for the children. They often do not understand what is going on, and this can cause them a lot of stress. As parents, even though you might not be getting along with each other, it is imperative that you watch out for the children.  Here are a few tips of the Do’s and Don’ts while you are going through your divorce.The Do’s

  • Make sure your children know that the divorce is not their fault. Repeatedly remind them of this.
  • Make sure your children are aware that they will be safe. Reassure them that both of their parents will be there for them, and will provide them with the things they need.
  • Make sure your children know that they are allowed to love both of their parents. They still have both a Mom andDad who love them very much.
  • Make sure to be supportive of your children’s relationship with the other parent. Make sure that both parents are aware of school functions, special events and any extracurricular activities.

The Don’ts

  • Under no circumstance should you criticize, judge, or badmouth your children’s other parent.  Children have this view of themselves as being half mom, and half dad, so when you criticize the other parent, you are in effect criticizing your own children. You should apply this rule to stepparents, and any other adults who are a significant part of your children’s lives.
  • Your children do not need to know the details of your divorce. Being exposed to information concerning child support, court issues, and any other intimate details concerning your divorce is rarely going to be beneficial to your children. When caught in the middle of their parents, children will often become confused, and upset when faced with issues that are meant for adults.
  • Your children do not work for the FBI or the CIA, so do not treat them as if they do. Find a way to communicate with your spouse without using your children as messengers or spies.
  • Do not deny visitation if the other parent does not pay child support, and do not refuse to pay child support if the other parent denies visitation. In both cases not only is it illegal, but think about it, the person suffering is your child.

There are many more do’s and don’ts regarding your actions as a parent during a divorce; this article just touches on the most sensitive of issues.