9 Ways to Reduce the Pain and Expense of Divorce
One of my goals in helping families that are in the process of going through a divorce is to help them reduce the pain and the expense that is often associated with the process. I have written an article that outlines nine ways you can reduce the pain and expenses of your divorce case. I hope you find it helpful. And, if you know someone going through a divorce, feel free to pass it along.
Step #1: Choose a lawyer who is a skilled negotiator and a skilled trial attorney. Generally, it is best for both parties to settle their case as soon as possible. When you settle soon, you and your spouse save time, money and emotional turmoil. So, you need a skilled negotiator who knows when to compromise and when to take a stand. If negotiations are not successful, you need someone with courtroom experience who will present your best case to the Judge for the best outcome possible.
Step #2: Help your lawyer get financial documents and information. Your lawyer can obtain the information through what is called the discovery process. However, if you can obtain it, you can avoid the expense involved by the lawyer handling this aspect of the case.
Step #3: Don’t seek revenge. This only confuses, inflames and delays everything. When both parties use the legal process to obtain retribution, no one wins – except, perhaps, the lawyers.
Step #4: Communicate with your lawyer. Your lawyer must know all the facts to adequately represent you and protect your interests. Be honest with him. If you don’t understand something, tell him so he can explain it to you.
Step #5: If possible, have both spouses and their lawyers commit to end the divorce quickly.This allows you to get on your feet without delay and not drag out the process. Plus, you save money that you can divide with your spouse, rather than giving it to the lawyers.
Step #6: Look at your divorce as your opportunity to take control of a new chapter in your life.You are not losing your identity. Divorce is the process of handling the emotional, parenting and financial issues involved in two spouses legally parting. Get emotional support from friends and family, and seek professional counseling if appropriate.
Step #7: Aim for a fair settlement. Your goal should not be retribution. If it is, both you and your spouse will “lose” due to increased legal expenses, a drawn-out process, and additional emotional turmoil. On the other hand, don’t “give away the farm” in an effort to try to win back your spouse or out of a sense of guilt. Your objective should be to protect your interests through a fair settlement.
Step #8: Consider the tax consequences of your property settlement. This is a mistake made all too often, even by some lawyers. Your property settlement often has many tax implications, such as the division of retirement accounts, capital gains resulting from the sale of a home, and the impact of children’s dependency exemptions. Your lawyer should advise you about these issues, and you may also need to consult with an accountant.
Step #9: If minor children are involved, don’t use them for your selfish motivations. You should not use them to work out your marital difficulties. Nor should you put them in the middle between you and your spouse. Instead, focus on your children’s needs and what is best for them. You will save money, time, energy and aggravation — and, most importantly, you will help your kids.