How To Start Dating After Divorce

Dating Like Rip Van Winkle

What does getting started dating after divorce have to do with Rip Van Winkle?

Do you remember the story about Rip Van Winkle?

The story goes like this.

After 20 years Rip Van Winkle woke up believing he had slept for only one night.

But, as he entered the village in which he had lived before falling asleep… all had changed. He felt afraid and confused by not finding anything familiar…like when he had lived there.

Well, just like Rip Van Winkle

After being married for 10 or 15 years or longer and getting divorced, you probably feel like Rip Van Winkle.

Going from being married and suddenly waking up to life as a divorced woman is confusing and disorienting at the very least.

Just adjusting to life as a single woman over 40 in a world that now seems full of couples is a lot to take in.

You probably feel very isolated and alone in your confusion.

When you were married all of your friends were couples and you felt very much a part of that group.

But now you most likely feel like you don’t quite belong in the singles world or the couple’s world.

It can feel like you’re on the outside looking in and not really feeling a part of either group.

On top of that if you’re a single mom that brings in a whole other dimension into your life.

Meaning, you must help your kids feel secure, loved and safe in this new environment.

Honestly, I know this firsthand. Going from being married to life as a divorced single woman is not an easy transition.

I know how it feels when your emotions run high and your self esteem runs low. When you question all your decisions and feel exhausted from the everyday demands on you.

When you wonder how you’re going to make it through another day.

Well time does heal and at some point you find yourself finally settled into a schedule and lifestyle that is acceptable.

Challenges still come, but you no longer go into overwhelm. Instead you navigate your way through them without too much difficulty.

But How To Start Dating After Divorce?

It is usually around this time that you begin to think about how nice it would be to meet some men.

You are not wanting to spend the rest of your life alone…you really do want to be in a relationship with a decent man.

Now, this new challenge could take you back to feeling overwhelmed.

Here’s the thing:

When you were single, before you got married, you knew the ins and outs of meeting and dating men.

Most your friends were single and it was no big deal to meet decent single men your age.

But when you try to re-enter the dating world after divorce and being over 40 nothing is the same as you remember it.

Chances are as a woman over 40 you most likely were not involved with online dating sites before getting married.

Or if you were they were not as prolific as they are today.

So you are totally a newbie when it comes to getting involved with online dating sites as a vehicle for meeting men.

Just like Rip Van Winkle, nothing feels familiar about dating as you knew it as a younger single woman.

You listen to some of the online dating experts as they talk about how to write your profile and if you should tell the truth about your age and how you should meet the date in a public place…just in case he’s a mass murderer.

Wow… you say to yourself.

You just want to meet some decent men. But in this new reality you now find yourself in… its like trying to learn to speak a foreign language over night.

Based on your life in this moment it’s easy to understand how Rip Van Winkle must have felt.

But here is a reality check for you.

Why would you think you should just be able to jump into the dating scene some 10, 20 or more years latter… like you never left?

You can’t.

To be successful you need to have confidence about all the in and outs of dating at this time in your life.

You can’t just go from kindergarten to college which is what dating after divorce can feel like.

The more you learn about this new world of dating, the better prepared you’ll be to successfully meet trustworthy men.
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If you decide you can figure this out on your own and don’t take the time to learn the ropes about dating and finding Mr. Right…

You’ll risk falling into the single women over 40 dating syndrome.

Deciding you are doomed to spend the rest of your life alone.

I know that’s not what you want, and that’s not what I want for you.

Life with a partner doesn’t end forever just because you got divorced.

You deserve to have a great guy in your life that you can trust and depend on.

A man who has your back and loves you just for being who you are: A loving, caring honest woman.

Click on the link to learn more about how to take the confusion out of successfully meeting trustworthy men after divorce.

Hugs
Suzy Weiss