How to Deal With Stressful Situations During a Divorce
Divorce is very common these days. People divorce for a variety of reasons. First, you no longer want to be with someone who makes you feel unwanted or unloved. Secondly, you can once again be responsible for your own feelings and life. You no longer have to worry about the other person. Finally, divorce often makes you feel free – it can be a great feeling if you’ve been in a difficult or suffocating relationship. The beauty of divorce is that it teaches you a valuable lesson so that the next time, you can try to do things in a different way.
However, while divorce does allow one to be relieved, it also comes with a few negatives or dangers.
The number one danger of a divorce arises when you share children. A large number of divorces that involve children are not amicable and custody battles can drag on for quite a while unless the child is at an age where he/she can make their own choice. But if that is not the case, what usually happens is that one spouse brainwashes the child and the child grows up hating the other parent. Because of the permanent connection through children, many people who divorce are never entirely free. You have to remain in communication for the sake of the children and often this creates an agonizing period which is not good for health.
The next danger of divorce is the ‘words.’ Many times in a marriage there are arguments and fights and we say things that we do not mean. Unfortunately, one partner often jots down the words or records them and these words can come back to haunt you. When you no longer want to be with that person, you may say hurtful things that you think no one else is hearing. The best advice when you are in the process of divorce is to stop being impulsive and bitter. Do not react to words said by your partner. If you ignore the words, you will be able to maintain your sanity. The only time you should reply back is if it has something to do with the children or their health.
The third danger is the children; it is inevitable that during a divorce, kids are going to side with one parent over another. No matter how old the child is, this scenario plays out all the time. Sometimes the child wants to stay with the mother, and sometimes with the dad. The best thing is to let the child be happy no matter what the situation. Every parent wants children to be with them but sometimes this is not possible. Rather than create bitter fights, accept the decision and move on with life.
The above scenarios outline some of the dangers and situations that one may face when undergoing a divorce. The important thing to remember is to do what’s best for you because even if you share children, if you are not happy, you will never be able to be a good parent.