How to Perform a Do-It-Yourself-Divorce

A divorce can be a tricky thing. It’s also an emotional time and emotions might keep you from thinking clearly. Only the simplest divorces can be handled without an attorney. Yet, you should consult an attorney at least once before deciding if you want to file for divorce on your own. If you and your spouse have minor children, little or no personal property or investments, you may want to consider a do-it-yourself-divorce.

But remember, keep an attorney in mind — just in case.

Somehow Reach an Agreement on Everything

A fast divorce will mandate that you and the soon-to-be-ex agree on everything, including:

• Division of Property – Not just personal items, but also bank accounts and investments
• Debt – Make a list of who owes what and to who
• Child Custody – Where are the kids going to live? When will the non-custodial parent have visitation?

Determine the Grounds

What is the reason for a divorce? Grounds in New York can include cruel and inhumane treatment such as physical or mental abuse. Abandonment, when one person leaves another for a year or longer with no valid reason is also grounds for divorce. If one-half of the couple goes to prison for 3 years or more, than can also constitute grounds as can adultery.

What About Your Maiden Name

If you choose to return to using your maiden name, you’ll need to spell this out on the divorce paperwork. Many women with small children choose to keep their spouse’s name so that they will have the same last name. The decision is totally yours and, even with minor children involved, you are free to revert back to using your maiden name. Just decide ahead of time.

Get an Uncontested Divorce Kit

In New York there are two different packets available. One is for households with children under the age of 21 and the other is for households where there are no children. Make sure to get the correct packet. They can be picked up at the Court Clerk’s Office.

Complete the Paperwork

You’ll need to fill in a Summons with Notice or both a Summons and Complaint. All of the forms will be in the packet and discuss things such as who will pay for the health insurance.

File With the County Clerk

The filing fee will need to be pain in cash or money order when you file. A good idea is to call ahead because some counties in New York only accept money orders. Presently, the fee to file for a divorce in New York is $210. Make sure to bring along a self addressed, stamped envelope. The clerk will use it to notify you when the divorce is final and your Judgment of Divorce can be picked up.

Give Your Spouse a Copy of the Forms

Anyone over the age of 18 and not part of the divorce can provide your spouse with a copy of the forms. Getting a friend to help or paying the Sheriff’s department are both options if you feel uncomfortable delivering them yourself.

Complete the Affidavit of Service

Whenever your spouse is served with the divorce copies, you need to let the courts know within 4 months of filing. If you hire the Sheriff’s department or a professional process server, they will usually take care of this on your behalf.

Spouse Needs to Sign the Affidavit of Defendant

This form should be signed by your spouse and filed with the County Clerk once it has been completed. The affidavit lets the court know that your spouse agrees to the divorce and waives any waiting periods.

Complete the Balance of the Forms

Other forms still to be completed and which ones will be determined by your situation. Reading the instructions for all of the forms will guide you. There are about eight forms which need to be completed and filed.

Get a Certified Copy of Your Judgment of Divorce

When the Judge has signed all of the forms and orders and they’ve been filed with the County Clerk, your divorce is final. The Clerk will mail you a postcard showing the date of the filing. Taking your photo ID and a small fee to the Clerk’s Office, you may pick up your certified copy.

While the procedure is pretty straight forward, everyone’s situation is different. Even if you decide to do your divorce paperwork yourself, you should still speak, at least once, with an experienced divorce attorney.