Many couples assume they need assistance from a judge in order to divide up assets and help with the creation of a custody agreement. This is especially true for high net worth couples with significant amounts of money at stake. New York’s laws provide for equitable or fair distribution of property, and a divorcing couple may believe they need a judge to help them determine how best to split up their assets.
The reality, however, is divorce mediation may be a better choice than litigation, even when there are custody issues involved and when significant amounts of money are at stake. Huffington Post recently wrote an article about divorce without court litigation. The article cites the statement by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announcing the couple will be going to a neutral divorce mediator to help them resolve the issues in their divorce.
Mediation Has Benefits for Divorcing Couples
Mediation is commonly used by celebrities and other divorcing couples who want privacy. When you turn to a judge to divide up your property and assets, your net worth and details of your financial life become court record. If you are fighting over custody and raising issues like adultery or poor parenting, the most private and intimate details of your life can also become public knowledge.
Couples can ask the judge to seal their divorce records, as AL.com reported that the divorcing Governor of Alabama did when the first lady of the state filed papers to end her 50-year marriage. However, it is up to the discretion of the domestic court judge whether he wishes to make the records private or not. If you want to ensure that your financial and personal information remains confidential and known only to your family, mediation may be the best and only answer.
Mediation has other benefits besides just allowing for confidentiality. With mediation, you work together with your spouse to come to decisions on custody and property division. Litigation, on the other hand, is adversarial by nature and there is a winner and a loser when a couple fights on the issues in court.
A peaceful mediated divorce can make it easier for you and your spouse to co-parent your children after the marriage has ended, which allows children of mediated divorces to maintain loser relationships with both parents after the marriage is over. By contrast, Huffington Post warns that: “Contentious litigation causes ongoing high conflict between parents, which is the root cause of long-term psychological issues in children of divorce.”
A divorce can move quicker with mediation as well, allowing the couple and children to move on with their lives. Backlogged courts and lengthy litigation can mean a divorce drags on for a very long time and leaves the couple living in limbo. With mediation, you and your spouse can meet with the mediator on your schedule. You can meet as frequently or as infrequently as you need to in order to be able to discuss the issues in divorce and come to a consensus.
Because you have control over how quickly you come to a divorce agreement, mediation can also be much less expensive than litigation. You’ll save on court costs and the costs of paying for investigators or expert witnesses if you and your spouse can stay out of the court room. You can also end up paying far less in legal fees because your lawyer will not have to prepare for a lengthy trial to argue for your interests.
While these benefits make mediation a very attractive solution for many divorcing spouses, even when significant amounts of money are at stake, it is important to realize mediation takes the cooperation of both parties. Unless you and your spouse are both forthcoming about finances and willing to work together, mediation will not work for you. A NY divorce lawyer with experience handling mediated divorces can help you to try to end your marriage through mediation. Call today to get help with the dissolution of your union so you can begin to move on.