How to Bounce Back from Divorce?

There is no doubt that going through a divorce can be challenging and difficult. While most couples who choose to split up do so because they feel that is the best solution for both parties concerned, the process of separation and negotiation can be quite stressful for most people.

However, once the divorce is final, it is the post-split period that can become even more difficult for a large number of people. That is when reality sets in and the realization that it is finally time to move on becomes abundantly clear. This could be a difficult phase to deal with but there are certain things that can be done to ensure you bounce back and survive a divorce – messy or otherwise.

Hold on to your children (if any): Whether you have sole custody or joint custody will obviously determine how much time you get to spend with your children. But even if you do not get sole custody, never forget that they are still your children. The divorce ends your marriage to your ex-spouse but it does not end your relationship or your bond with your children. Not only do your children need you to continue to play an active role in their life but you also need them to provide you the stability you need during the post-split phase.

Don’t Regret: Even if you do regret, just stop it. Just stop thinking about the ifs and the buts; stop blaming yourself for the end of the marriage; stop blaming your partner for not working hard enough to save the marriage. Just stop these thoughts. You’re divorced. You tried. It’s over and done with. It may seem difficult but you will move on. Don’t continue to mull over the things you could have done differently in your previous marriage. Think of how you can improve your behavior and actions in your next relationship.

Avoid a Rebound Relationship: So it’s over. You’re alone and while it may have been your decision and you actually wanted to be alone rather than be in a suffocating or difficult relationship, you will have certain fears and certain apprehensions about what comes next. DO NOT jump into a new relationship immediately (unless you are already in one before your divorce). Take your time. Enjoy the freedom. Evaluate your life. Identify what you need and want in a partner and what you are willing to give in return. Take it slow and avoid repeating the mistakes you made in your previous relationships.

Divorce is difficult but jumping into other equally poor relationships or turning toward activities that are not in your long-term interest is not the answer to recover from it.