Lesbians More Prone to Partner Violence Than Gay Men

Annamarie Rintala of Granby

Domestic Violence in Lesbian Relationships Increases

Shock waves have been ricocheting through Massachusetts recently.

1. In February, a Suffolk Superior Court jury found Nicole Chuminski guilty of a pair of counts on second-degree murder. During an argument between Chuminski and her lover Anna Reisopoulos, Chuminski went into a rage and left. Several hours later Chuminski went back to her partner’s apartment and threw a Molotov cocktail through the front door.

Sophia and Acia, 2 and 14, respectively, were burned so terribly that dental records were need to positively identify the girls.

  1. In March, Annamarie Rintala of Granby was found strangled to death in the basement of the house she shared with her partner Cara. Cara had been charged before with domestic violence after she hit Annamarie in the back of the head with her fist.
  1. Eunice Field of Brockton lost out in a menage a trois In August, Eunice walked to the apartment of Lorraine Wachsman, grabbed a knife and stabbed Wachsman in the neck and back. Just to make sure no one doubted her intentions, Eunice left a note admitting to the killing and saying it was revenge for “taking away the love of my life.” Eunice is being held without bail pending her day in court.

Experts were shocked but not surprised by the three incidents. In November, a report by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs indicated a 125-percent jump in domestic violence deaths in lesbian and gay couples across the country.

Earlier this year, the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research published a survey which found 28-percent of people in lesbian/gay relationships had experienced intimate partner violence. That figure compares with 17-percent of people in heterosexual relationships.

Why Are Lesbians More Apt to Abuse?

Nomi Porat, an abuse-prevention professional, believes the reason is a lack of quality limit-setting. “An issue common to battered women is the fear of demanding boundaries. Abused lesbians are fearful of their lovers leaving or becoming more violent if limits are placed in the relationship.”

A double wall helps to keep the lesbian battering issue hidden. The first wall is the stigma attached by lesbians who believe in a sort of same-sex nirvana; the feminist belief that maintains female-female relationships are peaceful gentle and pure.

Myths about domestic violence contribute to making the problem invisible to others. Many sufferers either don’t realize they’re in a bad situation or don’t know where to go for help. They wonder who will believe them.

The second wall is the cult-like belief in the idea of patriarchal sexism; the theory that men abuse their wives because of an innate urge to oppress women. Every time a woman pummels or rapes her female partner, the dominant patriarchal theory takes a hit.

The ideological blinders help to justify shelters’ policies of turning away needy women. Intimate partner aggression is not limited to any particular sex or gender. The analysis reveals women are as prone as men to engage in partner abuse.

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