Name 4,000 Things We Don’t Have In Common

“I’m never getting married again,” said a thrice-divorced man to his friend. “I’m just going to find a woman I hate and buy her house.”

The man’s idea of shortening the gap between finding “Mrs. Right” and divorce court is becoming truer in America each day. With over 50% of couples splitting up, it may be wiser and cost-effective.

The New York Times recently listed “The 13 Questions That Lead to Divorce.” The idea is for a couple to find a quiet spot and review the questions together taking turns as one reads, the other listens and answers and then roles are switched.

If you decide to take the quiz be sure all potential blunt projectiles are removed from the room.

Balancing Desire For Divorce With Ease

While the 13 questions may speed up the craving for divorce, state laws put the brakes on how fast the process can go.

New York State recognized the frequent and legitimate need for divorce, but state legislators don’t see a need to make it easy. First, there are the residency requirements. Once that is met, then grounds for divorce have to be determined.

Residency

To get a divorce in New York State:

• You or your mate must have been living in the state for at least two years before starting the divorce procedures.
• Either individual must have resided in the state for at least one year AND
• You got married in New York, or
• You remained in New York as a married couple, or
• The grounds for the divorce took place in New York

The Grounds

New York State has seven, legally acceptable grounds for divorce:

• Irretrievable breakdown in the relationship — also called ‘no-fault- divorce
• Cruel and inhuman treatment — the judge will want to know the specific acts of cruelty which happened in the previous five-years,
• Abandonment — The individual filing for divorce must have been abandoned by the spouse for twelve-months, or more,
• Imprisonment — The plaintiff’s spouse must have been incarcerated for 36-months, or more,
• Adultery — This can be difficult to prove as evidence from someone other than the couple is required,
• Legal separation — both parties sign and file a separation agreement then live separately for twelve-months,
• Divorce After Judgment — Not used very often as the Supreme Court must draw up a judgment of separation as well as the couple living independently for twelve months.

The Times articles does suggest NOT asking: “If you and I were the last two people on Earth, whom would you want to divorce — and why?”