Time-out

Time-out

1. Generally the rule is 1 minute for every year of age

2. Explain to your child clearly why they are going into time out

3. Keep it in terms they understand and keep it very brief

4. Immediately put your kid in time out after the explanation so they clearly connect the two

5. Pick a quiet spot for timeout

6. Use a timer

There is a tendency to send your child to their room for their timeout. Think of it from your child’s point of view. Here they have books, a computer, perhaps a TV, maybe a cell phone. Also a sensitive child may begin to associate the bedroom with punishment and you may have difficulty at bedtime. Picking a quiet spot with no distractions and where have a clear view of what’s going on is ideal.

Your child may move out of timeout before their time is up especially when you first start using this technique. You should immediately go over and return your kid to the timeout spot and restart the timeout. If you are using a timer, reset the time and make it clear that they now have to wait until the time is completed.

You will probably find less resistance over time if you are consistent in enforcing this rule. Children will test you from time to time to see if the rules remain the same. It is critical for you to behave consistently for this to be an effective method of discipline.

Reward and punishment as effective child discipline

As children get older, time outs may not longer work. Removing privileges such as going out to play, removing cell phone or restricting TV or computer use are common practice. Incentives are more controversial. Some parents expect to be obeyed and not to have their child require “bribing” or “payment” to carry out the task.

Others set up an allowance and have a list of things to be done to earn that allowance. This allows the parent to restrict the allowance if the agreed upon task list is not completed or if there is misbehavior. Probably a balance of these two methods works best. Agreeing up front exactly which tasks must be completed before the allowance is paid will avoid later arguments. Putting it in writing is even more effective. Examples of such tasks would be things like cutting the grass, gathering up leaves, removing snow and washing the car.

Consider teaching your child to save by opening a custodial bank account and making an agreement with them on how much they will put into that account. You can also keep a set of tasks that should be accomplished without monetary reward. Make sure you don’t take these for granted though and praise your child for their positive behavior.

Involving them in some kind of charity giving or charity work will teach your child to have a social conscience and be sensitive to others needs. A portion of their allowance could be donated to buy food, clothes or toys for other kids for example. This also reminds them that there are those who are worse off than they are and puts the heavy marketing and commercialism of our society in perspective.

You can of course use incentives other than money such as new toys, new clothes or a special trip or outing. You can be as creative as you want and customize these to your child’s interests and personality.