Tips Learned From Watching Celebrities Divorce
What does a person do if they are thinking of getting a divorce and their last name is not Kardashian? There are some ways to protect family and finances that can be learned from looking at divorces of some of America’s celebrities. A casual read of the newspapers and a close look at the celebrity news will give you some insights on how celebrities handled – or mishandled
– the divorce. They’re compiled here for your convenience.
In any relationship, communication is critical. Being in a committed relationship, it becomes more important to discuss expectations. How to raise the children, where to live, financial considerations and even what kind of vacations are preferred should be put on the table. One way of starting a conversation about all this is to start with a frank discussion about a prenuptial agreement.
Lawyers are often surprised by the couples who show up on their doorstep after having been married for some time and reveal that they’ve never discussed the basics. Conversations about money are not sexy, but they do allow for transparency and give both people the change for understanding each other better and learning what is important.
Know When to Fold ‘Em
As Kenny Rogers said, you gotta know when to fold them and when to hold them.How do you know when to do what? There’s no magical signs that will tell when it is time for that divorce. One rule of thumb though; when the bad times start outweighing the good — consistently — taking the next step may be appropriate. Divorce is a personal decision and should only be arrived at after seeking counseling and support.
The Golden Rule
Remember, treating others as you want to be treated is a good policy to remember when you go into a divorce. The three basic “B”s are: be kind, be reasonable, be brief. Marriage is a contract and dissolving that should be handled the same as any business transaction. Remember, the other person will no longer be a spouse, but they will continue to be a co-parent and family member. Depending on assets and existing entities, they may even be a business partner. As hard as it might be, try not to let emotions rule the discussions and negotiations.
If it turns out that the assistance of a lawyer is needed for guidance through the process, remember these ideas in picking a divorce lawyer:
◆ You are looking for an advocate and expert advisor on the law. Someone will be needed to be a strategist and negotiator. Remember though, no lawyer is as vested as you are in the outcome.
◆ To gather a group of lawyers from which to choose, ask friends and other professionals for suggests. Be sure to call the local Bar Association and don’t forget about the internet.
Find the Fee
During your first fact-finding consultation, find out what the attorney fees are as well as terms and availability.
Meeting with a potential attorney, even if you have to pay for it, is worth the investment so you can discover their achievement record. Try to learn their mediation/negotiation vs court and you’ll get a feel for the lawyers manner and determine if there is a comfort level between the two of you.
Think Outside the Box
There is no good divorce, but beating yourself up about how the relationship came loose can make it worse. Utilize some of the new ways available to dissolve the relationship — mediation, collaborative practice and even self-representation are all methods being explored by people seeking divorce today.
Stay United – To a Point
You will always be a family. That’s a legal fact and social reality. It’s up to you to make sure the children understand what it is they need to understand. Different age groups will respond differently, but you need to let them know the divorce is not their fault and even though it’s happening, everyone is still a family — just with a unique configuration.