Top Guerilla Divorce Tips

I know you love her. I know that she’s your baby’s-momma. I know you think she loves you. But trust me, women are evil – during a divorce or breakup and will crush your balls and take your money if you allow them.

Consider this, with divorce on the rise, more than 50% of all marriages in the U.S. result in divorce — men’s rights are being increasingly overlooked to the benefit of women. Statistically, the first person to file for divorce usually wins. While 70% of all divorces are initiated by women, 85 to 90% of custody and alimony awards go to women.

The numbers alone reveal the ugly truth when it comes to men: marriage and relationships have become a gamble in which the odds are heavily against us. If after all this, you don’t adopt a preemptive secret divorce planning strategy, you deserve to have your testicles handed to you by a judge in a glass jar.

When a divorce is imminent, that is when most men believe it is time to start a war – WRONG! Start planning your guerilla divorce tactics while on your honeymoon – just in case!

1. Women are Evil – during a divorce! She’s picked up a weapon far more powerful than even she may recognize — the Divorce Court and its practitioners. You never really know your spouse or what she is capable of until you go through a divorce. Divorce is about money wrapped in revenge.
2. If you are bringing tangible assets into the marriage, have her sign a pre-nuptial agreement and put your stuff into a revocable living trust. It’s all about mutual respect.
3. From the first day of marriage, gather, organize, copy, and back-up all important records and keep them in a safe place – including family pictures. Make a video showing all your valuable assets. Update as needed – for insurance purposes too should you have a fire or become a victim of theft.
4. Accumulate cash & hide it! Your six month liquid emergency fund should include at least $5,000-$10,000 for a Family Law attorney retainer. Get a second job if you need to – it’s that important!
5. Research & know who the best Family Law attorneys are in your area. If you have an electrical problem you call an electrician. If you don’t, you might get electrocuted. See who has the Martindale-Hubbel Peer Review AV or AB rating in your area. Update once a year.
6. From the first day of marriage, open your own bank and credit card accounts. Keep them secret and have statements sent to a private Post Office Box or your mommy’s house.
   1. If divorce is imminent, the first to the bank wins. Cancel All Jointly-Owned Credit Cards. Liquidate your bank accounts and take all the equity out of your home. Sell off extra cars or anything that you think could be split between the two of you.
7. Be prepared for contention on every front…if divorce is imminent, file first and then negotiate from strength.
8. Take good care of yourself. A good habit for life but divorce is one of the most stressful situations that you will ever go through. You must make sure you are both emotionally and physically in-shape.
9. Establish a good support system. With the help of trusted family and friends, you will be better equipped to get through a divorce should you need to. If you have no support network, learn to be your own best friend.
10. More & more women are using false Domestic Violence accusations to their advantage. If your wife batters you, drop the pride, file a police report and file for a divorce – today! If not, she could accuse you of DV and falsely obtain a Temporary Restraining Order [TRO] when she files for divorce.
11. If divorce is imminent, sever any property held in joint tenancy with your spouse. Otherwise, your spouse could own your own home, contrary to your wishes.
12. Repeat Step 6a! Liquidate joint bank accounts. Take all/half the money in the bank account[s] and put it into your separate bank account for yourself. If not, she could take it all!
13. Keep a journal. When the pre-separation, separation and divorce proceedings begin, start writing. Having evidence to support your case is critical. This includes interaction with everyone associated with your divorce – except your new girlfriend or favorite stripper.
14. Learn the basics of divorce law by “enrolling” in Mr. Divorce University. Knowledge is power!